In passing.

So I said goodby to a dear friend.  It was heartbreaking.

When I sat in her for the first time at the dealership, she promised me that if I took her home she would always protect the people inside, never brake down in unsafe places and live forever.  Well, she was true to the first two and probably intended to capture immortality as well. Then the years (and the children, the dog and the junk in the trunk) began to wear her down and we started replacing vital parts.  I asked her, begged her to hang in there for five more years.  It took her about 10 years to realize there really was no 5 year finish line.  As she grew progressively more tired and worn out I could hear her heavy sighs of resignation as I would repair her and put her back on the road.  Lately, as I begged her to go 5 more years, she was silent.  Supportive, but silent.

Shes been purging her oil in huge quantities.  Too many leaks in every direction for one who has no motor-medical skills and can no longer afford to hire those who do.  I thought she was really finished this time.... not because she really had reached her mortal end, but because I had failed her. I could no longer fund her repairs. What is a car (with a soul) to do when the metal is junked? Is that stupid to worry about such things?

Thankfully, my motor-medical mechanic had fallen in love with her over the years.  He could see her potential under his attentive (and free of charge) automotive expertise. So while I miss her terribly (no offense to the little purple Hyundai which has committed to putt for all she's worth) I'm grateful that she is getting the care she needs and deserves. And I hope to see her again...in passing.

278.5 credits, 52 semesters and 7 pages of transcripts

I have said goodbye to BYU so many times before... 

*As a sophmore when I married my children's father.
*As a junior when I realized that making my children wait for lunch until I finished my choreography was messed up.
*As a graduate with a BA in Dance.
*As a graduate with a MA in Dance.
*As a post grad with a Athletic Training Cert.
*And now, 32 credits of prerequisite classes behind me and accepted into a PA program.

Ive been pre-physical therapy, dance, sign language interpreter, dance, dance rehab and conditioning, athletic training and post bacc-non traditional chemistry/bioscience.  What a trip.

The gratitude to parents, spouses, children, family, friends, organizations and institutions that have empowered this journey is overwhelming to feel, much less describe.  I treasure this support and hold it sacred in my heart.

After 34 years, I've ended my BYU legacy. Two days ago,
I walked out of the testing center for the very last time. I'm really leaving this time.  I mean it.

Origin

Whoever I am at any given moment.  Whatever choice I make at any cross road.  Whatever I say, and how loud I say it.  Whatever I laugh at and why its funny.  Whatever insight becomes suddenly clear.  Whatever dream I pursue. Whatever familial code I enforce, or endlessly strive for. However long the conversation takes. Whatever sense of adventure comes with a rocket ride. Whatever work ethic must be endured. Whatever popcorn or paperbag doughnuts are being consumed. Whatever. However. Whomever. Wherever. It came from these people. My people.  My anchors. My family of origin.